SMS > One liners
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don\'t need it.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won\'t expect it back.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they\'re at home, even if you wish they were.